Disappointment

What do you do when you are disappointed? Me? I tend to turn inward. I tend to get really quiet and question life and my place in the world. I tend to wallow in my sadness for a while, and then I wake up to God's faithfulness and perfect sovereignity. Right now, I am disappointed. I am at the point of quiet questioning. What is God trying to teach me? Have I missed his direction? Have I not done something that I should of done, or did I do something that I should not have done? Am I who He wants me to be? Will I ever be? I KNOW that my questioning and waiting will lead me to God and His still small voice. I KNOW that His timing is perfect; His ways are perfect; and He will complete the perfect work that He began in me. But... until I totally wake up to all of those truths... I sulk and wallow.

Thanks, friend!

This summer I was feeling a little low and one of the HSYM youth gave me a word of encouragement. All she did was tell me that she appreciated me. Those words have been repeated by so many, so often, in so many situations without even a thought of their meaning; however, when she spoke those words, they were exactly what I needed to hear when I needed to hear them. So... I wrote a poem...

One Kind Word

One kind word was spoken to me today.
It was enough to send my sorrow and sadness away.
The power of that word the sender could not have known.
Yet, healing balm abounds when kindness and love are shown.

Simple, but true! Thank you, friend, for that kind word. I was feeling blue and you showed me that you cared. Let us be encouragers, even when we feel like we are the ones who need encouragement. Kind words are like boomerangs-- they are sent out from our hearts, fly by others to spread good will, and then return back to us. Again, thank you, friend!

This Poem Is (S)Not About You

This is a little 'ditty' I wrote this summer-- just for the heck of it! There is NO hidden meaning behind it, and it was NOT written with anyone special in mind. So... enjoy! And, please, feel free to use it, if need be!

This Poem Is (S)Not About You

Noses are red and
skintones are blue.
It's allergy season;
I'm NOT crying over you.

The pollen and the spores
are what make my eyes water.
Nah, knowing you're gone
doesn't make me fret or bothered.

I don't love you
and I don't think I like you either.
Have a nice life,
but please hand me my breather.

I Believe (Another Journal Entry)

I had written a blog a while back about one of my pet peeves-- when people put "I believe..." before a statement of truth. I wrote in my journal in January 2007 about a few things that I believe. So as not to sound hypocritical, these are just a few of the truths that I hold dear which is different than the context of my pet peeve (using "I believe" to transition into a statement of fact and not belief, conviction or opinion). There is a difference, if even a small one! Here goes...

From January 4, 2007... I BELIEVE

I believe emphatically in Your never failing Word and Will.
I believe eternally in Your Name, which is above all names,
Your reign, which is forevermore, and Your love, which is constant and true.
Jesus, I believe in YOU!

Wit's End

My husband and I took our girls to see Narnia's Prince Caspian today. Great movie with a great message! As I was reading in my devotional book tonight, I was struck by the similarities of my devotional for today and the moral of the movie. The scripture for my devotional was Psalm 107:27-28, "At their wit's end, then they cry unto the Lord in their trouble, and he bringeth them out." (I will not discuss the similarities in detail as to not give away much of the movie; I will discuss this scripture passage and its meaning a bit more, though.) God allows us to get to our wit's end so many times. Why do you think that is? God amazingly chooses to reveal himself and his strength and will at just the right moment-- that moment after the will and strength of man runs out or proves insufficient and that moment before man becomes eternally despondent. It is at that exact moment (at our wit's end) that man can choose to rely fully on God and can be fully at peace and fully cared for by the Father, having heartfelt needs met and hearts mended. God knows that we are incapable of taking care of ourselves without him; he also knows that we need to know that. GOD is able and ONLY through him are we victorious in any and all situations!

Journal Entries

I journal so much more easily than I blog, so I have decided to enter a few of my journal entries (one now, more to come). My journal entries mostly consist of notes to God or self with a bit of poetry or prose added in every now and again.

From February, 2007...

Lord, we keep moving forward, filling our calendars, planning events, teaching and preaching. It seems like there should be more that we're working for, but I know that we are where You want us to be-- although we do not always see the results of our labors. You have not called us to be famous, just faithful. You have not called us to be popular, just pliable. You have not called us to be extravagant or wealthy, just extremely blessed by your daily care. Our blessings come in Your timing and Your ways. May we serve without seeing; may we love without luxury. Lord, I want to feel-- Your presence and the plight of others, compassion and love for each. I want to impact others' lives for Your kingdom and in Your name! Amen.

Satisfaction Doesn't Come Easy

I just completed a major assignment in my Bible Study class at Southwestern Assembly of God University. I was dreading this assignment because it entails so many tiny details that are time consuming. Also, I was dreading it because my professor is a stickler. Well, I am done with it! Hallelujah! It was called an Interpretative Analysis of 1 Corinthians 1:18-2:5. It ended up being eight (8) pages long! You know what, though? I was dreading it SO much, but now (that it's over) I kinda liked doing it. I have no idea what my grade will be (and that scares me), but I enjoyed the learning process of the whole thing. If I wasn't going to be graded on it, I probably would have enjoyed it even more (but I probably wouldn't have done it, either). Well, now that it's over, I feel satisfied, like I accomplished something. I didn't benefit anyone else; I didn't help another soul; but I feel like I started something that was excruciatingly difficult and I finished it with all my hair on my head and a bit more knowledge inside. Satisfaction doesn't come easy, but it feels really good!

Know What You Believe

I recently wrote a comment to one of my friend's blogs. He was writing about how he used to believe that truth was relative, but now he understands that truth is based on the Word of God and is not simply based on what a person believes. My comment to him was about something that puzzles me frequently-- Why do people preface many of their ideals with the words "I believe"? When someone says that I want to ask them, "If you don't believe it, then why are you saying it?" For instance, someone may be sharing God's Word and they say, "I believe that we need to love people," or " I believe that God's Word says..." Should we love people? Does God's Word say...? It doesn't matter if we believe it. It doesn't matter if we don't. It is what it is! We need to say, " We need to love people!" "God's Word says..." When we add "I believe," we are adding a disclaimer. The only place for a disclaimer is when we could be wrong, like when someone says, "I believe that the Tennessee Titans are a great football team." That leaves room for discussion, a difference of opinion. There is no room for that when it comes to God's Word! Like I said before, it is what it is! It is truth (and I believe it)!